Teenagers are evil

So, it’s my mission in my life to be a good, calm, patient parent.  That’s why I found myself the other night literally banging my head into a door, saying something articulate and meaningful to my kids. It sounded something like this, “Argh, Argggghhhh, aaggggghhh, be quiet!!!! Agggg!!!!”

Seriously. Teenagers are evil. They’re born that way.

I want to be clear that if you are the parent of toddlers, you’ve got no clue what I’m talking about. I remember toddlers. They’re cute, even when they’re sulking. They look funny; they do ridiculous things. At that age, they’re invariably awesome.  I’m pretty certain that cuteness is a evolutionary thing to make sure they survive into adulthood.

Just close your eyes and picture the scene.  Has anyone ever said these things to you?

“Agggg!  HE DRANK OUT OF MY WATER?”

“SHE TOUCHED ME! HIT HER!”

“Whiner whiner whiner.”

“MOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Teenagers, I should point out, also have incredibly annoying habits. Here’s a few recent examples:

Just got out of the shower? Oh, well it makes sense to leave the sopping wet towel on the floor. Right next to the cat litter box.

Hungry at night?  Relax and eat in bed. Then stuff the banana peels and empty yogurt containers under the bed so the bugs can eat too.

Stay up all night in the closet surfing the web on the laptop, then complain in the morning that you’re tired.

Do you have teenagers? I’m sorry.  Do you have any recommendations on proper restraints?

P.S. To be fair, my kids are way better than I was. At my son’s age, I’d dropped out of high school and was getting into other, worse trouble.